her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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