don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
