I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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