Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I fill condoms, not promises.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
