It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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