Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
that's an acceptable place to lick
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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