But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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