Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
