i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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