Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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