that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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