I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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