it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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