I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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