You really coming over, don't trick.
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
