I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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