By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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