I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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