Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
