I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
