5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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