pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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