okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize