covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Green mimosas i think yes
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
