goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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