don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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