When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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