I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
