id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
