Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
