The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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