i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
