What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
