My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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