Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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