what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
