It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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