Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
