Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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