Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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