you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
