They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
