I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
