Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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