dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
