please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
