last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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