apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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