hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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