I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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