Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
