I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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