Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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