I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
