Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
