the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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