You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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